Thappad, the recently released Hindi feature film, highlights many social and personal issues though rampant in Indian society, yet often pushed under the carpet. This article talks about 5 such concepts that I personally related with, both as a cinema lover and as a keen fashion enthusiast.
1. Don’t be apologetic of who you’re or who you choose to become, you don’t owe it to anyone
There is a counter-productive wave going around beating down the women who choose to become full-time homemakers (yes, that’s the right word instead of using the derogatory and meaningless ‘housewife’). If that’s what they want to do and can do, then let it be.
Let’s not forget that feminism is a movement to achieve equality for everyone, and equality simply means the equal right of choice, opportunities and respect for everyone. At least that's what feminism means to me both as an individual and as a woman.
Be it the choice of chasing after your ambitious career goals or the choice of leading a life of domestic bliss. None of these are superior or inferior, these are just different choices made by different people in different circumstances. No one has any right to judge anyone for these choices.
Amruta's character in Thappad (aka Amu), played by Tapsee Pannu, has chosen to be a homemaker. She could have chosen otherwise. Everyone, even the well-meaning friends and family, keeps on suggesting to her that she should have pursued her career in dancing. That she somehow made a wrong choice and somehow the slap incident is an inevitable outcome of that choice.
But Amu is unapologetic of her choices and she doesn’t regret an ounce of it. She respects her right to be able to choose, even if it might not be the popular choice. And that attitude reflects in her entire being, be it her comfortable, sophisticated and understated clothing, her caring for the diabetic mother-in-law, her being as a stay-at-home wife, her walking out of marriage because of the slap, her insistence of not playing it dirty when it comes to legal complications, even when she is being cornered.
Amu is unapologetic and she makes conscious choices for herself, and stands by her right to being herself. She doesn’t feel like she owes it to anyone to explain her choices. And her true strength comes from that deep conviction.
2. It’s never a bad strategy to play fair, rather it gives you an unbeatable psychological and emotional edge
When things get legal and ugly, the husband, his family and the lawyers start playing it really unfair towards Amu. And that is when she hasn’t even pressed the charges for domestic violence and outrage of a woman’s modesty. All she is seeking is a peaceful and amicable divorce from the husband that she doesn’t love and respect anymore. And yet, the other party tries their best to turn it into a messy divorce fight and ultimately a custody battle of a child who is not even close to being born anytime soon.
Amu stands by her values and never gives in to playing it unfair. Reluctantly, left with no other choice, she eventually has to add the real cause of domestic violence into the play. But even then it’s brought on as it happened. Nothing more, nothing less. No added drama, no exaggeration and no theatrics.
She is clear about how she wants to do it and nothing is going to change it or affect it. That clearly gives her case an upper hand. She doesn’t need to go out of her way to prove anything. She doesn’t lose her credibility and it makes it really difficult for the other party to seek the undeserving support that they need in order to look good.
Appearances matter a lot in such cases, and no one can deny that Amu wins it hands down in that department, by not having to keep up anything fake. When you’re not busy focusing on fabricating or altering the truth by being unfair, you can be more relaxed and focused on what really is required to be done. Amu’s razor sharp focus never gets distracted or diluted.
3. You don’t need anyone to tell you your worth, and you don’t need to prove it to anyone
As explained in the first point, almost everyone around Amu keeps implying that somehow she would have had more value in the marriage if she was a successful career-woman. In a very crude reality way, that might even be true.
But Amu doesn’t define her worth as a human being and as an equal partner in a marriage by such frivolous concepts. She isn’t being the caretaker, that she is, to be worthy of the love and respect. She believes that by default it is her natural right as the equal half in a marriage.
She doesn’t need anyone to tell her worth and she is completely secure in her own skin. She doesn’t try to prove her worth to anyone either. She doesn’t even put any financial or damages claims in her divorce petition.
All she wants is happiness and respect in her marriage and when she doesn’t get even that, she walks out. When you get that kind of absolute clarity that a relationship has run its course, what’s the point of dragging it on for any reason, whatsoever?
4. Let others do them, you do you
Amu feels the sharp rage caused by the pain and the humiliation of the slap by her husband. She confesses that she also considered slapping him back, when he is trying to be all sweet, later on, to convince her to come back, by saying why don’t you also slap me and make it even.
Yet she holds back that urge to react. She holds back escalating matters into legalities. Yes, surprise, surprise. Legal action is not started by Amu, rather she is dragged into that as well. She holds back from pressing criminal charges. She holds back from demanding damages.
She is not unnecessarily bitter towards anyone. She rushes to tend to her ailing mother-in-law. She offers to help with her for the times when the husband needs to be at work. She rushes to share the news of the pregnancy and she doesn’t want to keep the child only to herself.
She is unfazed by others’ actions.
She believes in being true to herself and she demonstrates that throughout, by her words, mannerisms and her actions. Being able to stay true to yourself and your core values, even in the face of adversity, is the true strength, and Amu shows oodles of that.
5. It’s perfectly alright to indulge yourself in happiness and not be perfect or right all the time
This takeaway is purely drawn from the character of Amu’s lawyer, Netra Jaisingh, portrayed by the oh-so-good Maya Sarao. The complicated character is torn between the contradictions of worldly glitter of being a successful female rights lawyer, and the intimated wife in a marriage with a narcissistic and egotistical husband who thinks of their marriage as a mutually beneficial business deal.
Netra’s character’s look is so well-defined to portray this contradiction and to underline the misunderstandings of modernity for all of us. She is a modern, well educated, up and coming lawyer. She is beautiful, sexy and sassy. She dresses in finest modern clothes and is the epitome of confident modern women of our times when in public eye. She accompanies her husband when he is being recognized as his trophy wife in a cocktail gown. She sports an oh-so-sexy disconnected buzzed undercut pixie haircut.
Wish we had more female characters sporting interesting individuality traits like this in our mainstream pop culture.
And yet, her husband, played by the very strong Manav Kaul, walks all over her achievements and her being a worthy human being. He has the audacity of thinking that he can rape her just because she is his wife. Oh yes, marital rape also makes an appearance as the casual sexism that this movie is set out to depict, and rightly so.
Netra is seeking happiness too. And she is doing it in her own way. She is unsure of a lot of things but not of her right to be happy. The high point of the film for me was when Netra gathers the courage to walk out of the abusive marriage of her own, following the courage that she draws from her client Amruta, and doesn’t rush from one man’s arms to another (her escape in form of a lover). When she chooses happiness for herself, with herself, and is not seeking it in the company of a man anymore. That was beautiful and heart-warming.
She doesn’t feel guilty in seeking pleasure and happiness for herself. She doesn’t feel guilty in indulging herself. And she asserts her right to a respectful and happy life when pushed to the edge. She stands up for her client’s human rights. We need more characters like that in our films.
What did you connect with in the film?
What message stayed with you even after the film?
Comment and share with our readers.
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